Loveliest downfall
by Inkfire
Summary: She was but a toy in his hands, and oh, how she loved it. A pretty little doll he tossed around, and then dropped carelessly. Songfic and giftfic for marlene dietrich.


**Christmas present fic for marlene dietrich – because she asked, I happen to love her, and I told her about songfics so... Here we go ;) **

**Yay for newly acquired friendship and insane Bellamort shipping. And yay for you, m'dear! Sorry for the unimpressive length – and for making Bella suffer like hell. Hey, I'm a drama girl ;)**

**I started off sticking to the song, and then totally went astray – but it's still in the spirit, _somewhat_. Bear with me :P**

**Song is _Aquarius_ by the amazing Within Temptation. **

_I hear your whispers break the silence and it calms me down  
A taste on my lips, your salty kisses_

They say I'm seeking out the danger  
That one day you won't let me go  
(I'll drown, you'll take me down)

I need you Aquarius  
Enchanted I will have to stay  
I feel you Aquarius,  
Cause you the sea set me free  
You call to me Aquarius  
(you call to me, you set me free)

I relinquish to your powers  
From your grasp I just can't hide  
I missed the danger I had to conquer  
You made me feel alive

They say I have to be aware  
That one day you won't let me go  
(I'll drown, you'll take me down)

I need you Aquarius  
Enchanted I will have to stay  
I feel you Aquarius,  
Cause you the sea set me free  
You call to me Aquarius

I long for you, Aquarius  
I need to be with you again  
I fear you, Aquarius  
My destiny till the end

I need you Aquarius  
Enchanted I will have to stay  
I feel you Aquarius  
Cause you the sea set me free

_Sick, _they would say. _Dangerous, stupid, absurd, unhealthy. _

(_but they don't know a thing_)

They don't understand how drawn you are to him. They don't know that you can't help it, never had a choice in the matter – because you met his eye, _scarletbeautifuldeepanddeadly_, and that was it, you were done for. Your freedom was but a dim memory.

(_you never were one for freedom to begin with, you won't admit it but you just long to please_)

You just want to be loved, silly little girl. So what are you doing in this stormy mess of a relationship? What are you thinking of as you lay your heart in this cruellest man's hands?

(_you aren't thinking, in fact. You're drowning into his eyes, dazzled, and you don't even want to think anymore_)

He can be sweet at times, you know. Bittersweet because you never know when the light, seemingly harmless caress will turn into sharp pain, because his whispered words in the darkness – so _soft _– are tearing through your heart like a thousand blades, and you want to cry but it is forbidden.

It hurts, but you don't want him to stop, you don't want him to go, you just need to get closer and closer. He got under your skin, and now your soul is branded and moulded by his hand, his forevermore. You belong to him, even if – _when_ – he tosses you away carelessly, one day, when you're not his favourite broken doll anymore, but damaged beyond repair.

(_you don't want to think about it_)

(_denial suits you oh so well_)

You don't want a harmless life, you decide. You need the thrill of addiction, the high of losing control, of running to your own doom, _falling_, just because he wants you to.

You need the danger, you brainless little drama queen, you won't admit your mistakes (_you airhead_) and you say you're fighting for your beliefs, but it's all about being important and worthy, and you're a selfish, selfish girl, because even if you give up your life, in the end it's all about _you_, and you don't even see him tear his soul apart and threaten his own reign with his arrogance.

(_it all fits in the end, because you would never be able to love a normal person. You aren't one for happiness, there is this yearn to destroy, always taking over you_)

(_you're a walking paradox of a girl, and you never even question anything you think – so prettily prejudiced, a ready toy for him to seize_)

So you smile and with a flash of your wand, another person falls – and you race on to your doom, dancing with death because he finds it entertaining to watch, and you rise, rise, rise, until one day you_ fall_.

(_because he's fallen too, and it breaks you both apart, anyone would have thought you two couldn't get more fucked up, guess what, they were wrong_)

You get out of prison a walking disaster, and he is even more of a monster, and he wants you no more.

(_and you feel so damn breakable_)

But still you fight on.

(_you're no more little girl, but after all you're insane. There's nothing new under the sun, and you go on till you die_)

(_I told you so, darling_)


End file.
